Sliding Into DMs and Into Lifelong Friendships: Finding Your College Roommate in 2025

If you're in your senior year of high school and suddenly realizing that you actually have to find a roommate for college—deep breath. You're not behind. You're exactly where you're meant to be.

So many of my clients right now are in this liminal, low-key nerve-wracking phase: they’ve been accepted into college, decision made, and now comes the strange social scavenger hunt—who am I going to live with?!

There’s a shared anxiety in this part of the journey. 👉 “What do I even say in a DM?” 👉 “Do I post on the Instagram page or just lurk?” 👉 “What if I message someone and they ghost me?” 👉 “How do I not sound weird?!”

First of all: it’s not weird. It’s normal. Actually—it’s tradition.

Back in 2013 (cue the nostalgic indie playlist), my generation didn’t have school-specific Instagram pages. We were deep in the Facebook era. You’d join your college’s "Class of 2017" group and scroll for hours looking for posts that felt like you. I remember messaging back and forth with a handful of people… some convos fizzled, some didn’t feel quite right—but I stayed curious. I stayed open.

Eventually, a few conversations turned into a group text, and that group text turned into a real group. These girls became my freshman year roommates.

And now? Three of them stood next to me as bridesmaids at my wedding in August 2024.

All that to say: that one DM you’re overthinking right now? It could lead to a lifelong friendship. Or maybe just someone who makes dorm living a little more cozy. And honestly, both are wins.

Here’s what I want you to know:

• Everyone is nervous. Everyone. Even the people posting confident roommate “about me” blurbs are wondering if anyone will respond.

• Start simple. Try: “Hey! I saw you’re going to [college] too—I'm also looking for a roommate and figured I’d say hi 👋 Tell me about you!” You don't need a TED Talk. You just need a spark.

• You don’t need to vibe with everyone. It’s okay if convos fizzle or don’t click. You’re not behind. It only takes one good match.

• Stay open. Your person might not be the one you expected—and that’s kind of the magic of it.

• This is just the beginning. Even if your roommate isn’t your forever BFF, you’ll find your people. Community takes time, and courage.

Not Sure What to Say? Try One of These DMs:

1. “Hey! I saw you're going to [school] too—do you have a roommate yet?”
   → Simple. Clean. No pressure. Just vibes.

2. “Loved your post on the class page! I’m also committed to [school] and still looking for a roommate. What are you thinking for dorms?”
   → A lil compliment + casual curiosity = magic.

3. “So many people are posting it’s hard to keep track—figured I’d shoot my shot and say hi 👋 I’m [name], and I’ll be at [school] this fall too!”
   → Normalizing the chaos and making a move? 10/10.

4. “Hey! Random Q—but have you visited campus yet or are you planning to this summer? I’m trying to meet a few people before move-in.”
   → Great for shy folks or those who want a soft intro.

5. “Hi! I noticed you’re into [insert shared interest/hobby from post or profile]. I am too! Just wanted to connect and maybe chat about roommates?”
   → Connection through shared interest = smooth entry point.

6. “I’m starting to get so excited (and nervous) about college—figured I’d say hey to someone else in the same boat 🫶”
   → Relatable. Honest. Vulnerable in a cool way.

So yeah, send the DM. Post your intro. Make the move. You’re not just looking for a roommate—you’re opening a door to new chapters, unexpected laughter, and maybe even a forever friend who’ll still be in your life when you’re dancing in a wedding dress ten years from now.

✨Trust the timing. Trust yourself. You’ve got this.✨